I was on a choir tour around the great and awesome state of Texas in college. The place where my hair never dried after a shower, and I had to carry a sweater around for when I walked into a building out of the SCOURCHING heat. The fake, frigid, A/C air would hit you like the frozen tundra. Ah, yes, Tay-HAUS. mmmhmmmhmmm.
We’d already been to Austin (though there are rumors of Austin being hip & great, what I experienced was the armpit of Texas), Houston (home of the most beautiful opera) and Dallas (r.i.p. JFK being its claim to fame) and were making our way to the beautiful city of San Antonio. The River walk was truly enchanting and I LOVED spending our evenings down by the river watching entertainment or floating along in a calm boat.
We had sung the Yellow Rose of Texas more times than I could count, had visited the ALAMO and had seen a pretty disappointing wax museum (I think Brad Pitt had a cleft palate) , but over all were having a really great time.
We had stayed at the Davey Crockett Holiday Inn across from the Alamo, where the first thing my roommate said to me upon entry was “Why does our hotel room smell like pee”? Though we noticed it, I didn’t think I’d contract a “disease” from the room, but apparently I was wrong.
My roommate and I had gone about our stay in San Antonio like normal girls, sharing clothes here and there, and when there weren’t towels enough for the four of us, we just shared. (It’s not like I’d ACTUALLY get dry in the humidity anyway)
It wasn’t until I had been back home in good ol’ Colorado for a couple weeks that I even suspected that something had gone array.
I stepped out of the shower one morning and looked in the mirror. “BUT I’VE ALREADY HAD THE CHICKEN POX!!!!!” All over my back and torso were red bumps. WHAT IN GOD’S GREEN EARTH IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!?
ring ring
“Listen, I don’t want to freak you out”, it was my roommate from our time in San Antonio.“But I have scabies, technically, they are an STD. You haven’t by any chance gotten little red bumps over you, have you?”
Her timing was impeccable.
Apparently, scabies are little mites that burrow under your skin. The bumps that are produced are one of two things. 1) the scabies babies i.e. egg sacs or 2) scabie poop.
hooray for scabie poop!
“Scabies are actually considered an STD because you get them from prolonged skin on skin contact.”
SO HOW THE HECK DO I HAVE SCABIES!!!!! I HAVE AN STD FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD!!!!!
the end of the age of innocence.
Come to find out you can contract the little stinkers from hotel rooms and linens that haven’t been cleaned adequately. If you have them then they can easily be shared through such things as towels…..check. and clothing….check.
“Why does our hotel room smell like pee?”
and that’s when
one + one = Davey Crockett gave me an STD.
DISCLAIMER: Apparently, some folks are very passionate about scabies & I’ve received my first blogging “hatemail”. Much of the information in this entry is just a recount of events. Example: A friend’s doctor told her scabies are an STD, she passed that on to me…then I you. Did I do crazy research? No. I just dealt with the situation as it was handed to me. The purpose of my writing is not necessarily to educate….rather to entertain…. Yes, I understand that scabies don’t smell like pee. But dirty rooms do smell like pee. And you can get scabies from a dirty hotel room. Bottom line: not perfect, sometimes gross things happen to you in life. The purpose of this blog is to make light of the things that have potential to drive you crazy. Moreso than educating about scabies, I’m saying “Do NOt stay at the Davey Crocket Inn across from the Alamo!!!” I apologize profusely to those who this story upset. I’ll leave the education to you; thank you for the information. I’ll just keep enjoying and embracing the awkward moments. For those interested in knowing. A good ol’ medicated cream clears the whole situation right up.
breatheinthenewthings 
SCABIES IS NOT AN STD!!!!!! It’s from skin to skin contact, but it’s not even a disease and you do not get it from sexual activities. (you can, but it’s only from rubbing against eachother, not your genitals, which is what would make it an STD… you don’t get warts or ghonorea on your arms and legs… lol) Scabies does not have a smell, so that’s not why your room smelled like pee, just means the hotel is dirty… and you probably got it from a pool/hot tub… bc parasites generate in warmer conditions and don’t die off in those kinds of conditions, either. You could have gotten it from someone in a store who handed you back change… just, know what you’re talking about before you say it. I wouldn’t advertise that you had an STD, even if you really did… that doesn’t make you sound cool. Even if you’re claiming that Davey Crocket gave it to you.
My profound apologies…I’ll be honest. I wrote the title, etc. because I liked the rhythmic flow of the lines
“Why does our room smell like pee?”
“That’s when one + one= Davey Crocket gave me an STD”
As opposed to being educational, it’s more of a literary device for the purpose of my blog which is to entertain, not educate.
thank you for your professional opinion. I’ll keep your commment posted, so people can know what’s up.
have a great, STD free, (or otherwise) day.